I stood there at the show, The Head and the Heart─July 30, 2014, in the middle of the crowd. I wanted no part of anyone. No spoken words, only sounds and vibrations. Only lyrics. The feelings: mine and those of the music. With no resistance to what was flooding toward me and no time to process that it was the moment I had been waiting for....the universe spoke. My next move was revealed. The path unfolds...do I dare?
I knew I had missed things. What I hadn’t realized was my heart ached for things my brain had long forgotten. It was an electric shock that came on slow, and then it was a full stream to my consciousness. With eyes wide, heart pounding, and the perfect amount of anxiety building, I was suddenly a spark ready to blaze.
To some my life may appear chaotic and ever changing. Can you keep up? There are moments I need to stop and catch my breath. There are moments I am paralyzed by the amount of energy I am producing. When it comes down to it, I’d rather enjoy the mystery, the alchemy, and the witchcraft. Let it come. I live for change. I still experience the natural reactions to it: the obstinate fear and the unwavering hope. The difference is, I don't let the fear stop me. I come to the edge, where most would stumble back, but instead I jump. I am a woman of my word. Follow through.
This constant change is only the interplay of me and the universe. It is the moment when my insatiable desire becomes something tangible.
If I am comforted and fueled by any pattern in my life, it is this one. Change is the unmistakable feeling when all the locks click open. Change is the seed that penetrates the dirt and reveals a sprout. Change is the place where I am calm and centered in the midst of a massive transition. Without fear, without doubt, and without blame, I pack my bag and go....
When you know, you know. I am not meant to be in one place. I am meant to share this gift of Hawaii with the world. I asked God to be free. I grew up dreaming of what it would be like to be a certain kind of woman: a real adventurer, dreamer, and free spirit. As cliché as it sounds, in that time, in those dreams, and by living my life with the acceptance of growth and change, somewhere over the rainbow, I became just that. I became free. I am free. I am following my true north...hitting the ground running.
It isn't goodbye…it is Aloha.
Wild and free,